Thursday, March 8, 2012

depressing... read with caution

Hello sweet friends!

Have I ever mentioned that I am a teacher? I don't think so. Well... I am. I teach English at a local University. I spend all my time teaching Freshman how to write college worthy papers. And yes, that is as difficult as it sounds! My students drive me crazy, but I love them. It amazes me how much you can care about a student in one semester's time. I never see these kids outside of class, and I only see them a couple days a week, but somehow I legitimately care about them. Most of them, I will never see again after the one semester I have them, but they all leave a mark on me. Do I have any teacher friends out there that can relate? 

I don't know why my right  arm is being wonky in this picture :)
Well, I just used that picture to distract you from the depressing detour that is about to take place in this post. And here it is... This semester it is my students that are pushing me to keep a smile on my face. I know teaching is where my heart is, but this particular semester I have been struggling to enjoy it. It isn't my students - they are wonderful as always. I think I am having a difficult time transitioning into a new school. When I began teaching, I worked for the school I had graduated from. So, I knew everybody. I had strong personal relationships with all of my colleagues, and most of them are dear friends. But this year, I have moved to a new school. Don't get me wrong, I love the new university I work for. It is just extremely difficult to make new "colleague friends" when I am only there a couple days a week. I am also a LOT younger than about 90% of them. I just kinda feel out of place when I am there. I am hoping it is just a phase that I am going through because I feel like this is where I am supposed to be. We shall see, I guess. 

This is my first depressing post... You guys want the good, the bad, and the ugly right? I was trying to think of something to share tonight and this is what came out. On a brighter note, I do love teaching! I never thought in a million years that I would be a teacher when I grew up (I'm only 25 haha)! I definitely never thought I would be teaching English - and composition for that matter. But here I am. I am definitely that English teacher my students make fun of (in a good way of course). It could be my extremely nerdy love of Lord of the Rings or Jane Austen (somehow I can turn any conversation into a discussion about one of these two). Or maybe it is.... no it's probably the LOTR's thing. 

4 comments:

  1. Sweet Beccah. Believe me when I say, "We ALL go through 'those times'!" you are not alone. I know positively that our precious Lord and Saviour is walking right with you to be certain you get to the end of this bumpy path you've seemed to stumble upon at this time. He hadn't left you. I encourage you to concentrate on all the wonderful things going on in your life including in your new job. I know how hard it gets sometimes when you're in that place where you live where you are and what you're doing, but still don't feel completely fulfilled. These are the times Satan attacks. But know that not only has Jesus not left you, but you have an entire group of friends that haven't either. I know you feel a bit depressed right now. But, you WILL get the desires of your heart. I will pray that the Lord will give you peace, strength and a new joy that is beyond ALL you've EVER imagined. I don't receive this post as depressing. I receive it as you being REAL and open with us, as you should be at all times. Love, Diana

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    1. Thanks Diana for your kind words! I know that all will be well and it will get better as time goes on!

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  2. THis has nothing to do with what you wrote (but believe me, you're not the only one :) I feel like I'm playing Bring Your Child to Work somedays.) Do you follow M Loves M? Because you guys match today, no joke :)
    http://mlovesm.blogspot.com/2012/03/look-book-mustard-meets-dots.html

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    1. I didn't even know about her blog! But you know I love mustard anything lol! How cute is she?

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